"I can do it by my own self!"

Simon is a fiercely independent child. Attempting to help him with anything, big or small, almost always ends with this:

"I can do it by my own self!"

For a while now, he's been climbing into his high chair and he's quickly learned how to get on and off the potty without injuring himself. If you do the injustice of helping him with something, like getting him into his car booster seat, he will have a fit until you back away and let HIM do it. If you somehow manage to get him in the booster seat, he'll climb out and then climb back in - it HAS to be on his terms.

Harmon was never like this so this is new to us. Recently, we saw a note in our church newsletter for a seminar about dealing with your strong-willed child. We mentioned it to each other, looked at him and thought, hmmm, I wonder if we could learn anything from that!

I'm sure this trait will serve him very well later in life but, at this point, it can be tough on us. While he thinks he's 5 like his big brother, he's only 2 and we would like to enjoy him being 2 and, maybe, you know, needing us A LITTLE BIT!

Eggs-cellent

When Harmon was just over a year old, he had a reaction to eggs. He had eaten some scrambled eggs and then threw up a little and started itching his eyes like crazy. Since that time, we've steered away from giving him straight eggs (he CAN have eggs baked into things like cookies, cake, etc.). After the great cashew disaster in the summer of 2009, we went to the allergist to have him tested and he showed an allergy to tree nuts, eggs and fish. The allergist explained that he would always be allergic to tree nuts, might grow out of the fish allergy and most likely would grow out of the egg allergy.

So, a few weeks ago, we decided to test her theory. On a yucky Sunday morning, we got up and made a huge breakfast of bacon, eggs, toast, juice, etc. We were a little nervous about it but decided to go for it and give Harmon some scrambled eggs. He was skeptical as well - he's very in tune with his allergies - but he ate the eggs ... and he was just FINE! He was excited and we were excited! Since then, he's had eggs a few more times without any reaction. I think we can safely say that he's no longer allergic to the incredible edible egg!

2.5

Simon, you’re 2 ½ years old today. To celebrate, your brother drew you a picture of a birthday cake. He can be so sweet SOMETIMES. Other times, though, he gives it to you pretty good but you don’t seem to care. You’re even starting to give it back to him a bit.

The other night, while Daddy and I were making dinner, we heard grunting coming from the living room. Daddy took a peak at you and Harmon and then said to me, “they’re just Greco-Roman wrestling!” This is pretty common these days. You two like to wrestle a lot and, most of the time, Harmon is the first one crying. You’re a pretty tough little guy. You have a huge blister on the top of your foot right now and you never told me or Daddy about it. You fell the other day at the park and didn’t cry a bit even though you were bleeding. You just dusted your hands off and got back up. When I took you to the car to clean up the cut and put some medicine on it, you said “look, Mommy, blood” in the most matter-of-fact way possible. When we were done with the medicine, you were right back at it.

So, you’re tough but you’re also stubborn. SO stubborn … and so independent. You want to do everything by yourself, no matter what the task, and you get so mad if we don’t at least let you try.

Right now, as an eater, you are challenging. If you’re hungry, food is gone fast but, if you’re not, you won’t budge. You would honestly sit in your chair for five hours to prove a point that you don’t want to eat what we’re serving. Fortunately, you’re growing big and strong so, much of the time, you can get away with maybe not finishing everything on your plate.

You talk a ton, my God. Paragraphs just flow from your mouth. And almost everything - barring Ls - is pronounced perfectly. You love cars and you love books and you love to go to the park. You’re a simple kid, just like your brother. Sometimes, we’ll catch you lining up your cars and we flash back to Harmon doing that at the same age.

You’re doing great at school, even though you’ve been to the principal’s office a couple of times. It’s not for anything extreme, just maybe not listening quite so well during circle time, but it's a visit nonetheless. Listening can be hard for you and the fact that your brother has trouble with the same thing only compounds the situation.

Your potty skills are epic – you’re doing fantastic! I see underwear coming in the fall!

Right now, you’re really hit or miss with letting me or Daddy rock you to sleep. Sometimes, you just like to crawl in your bed and fall asleep with us in the rocking chair nearby. Other nights, though, you’ll let us hold you until you fall asleep – those are the best nights.

You don’t like to be alone and you can be quite needy at times. If we’re there, you want our full attention but the minute your brother appears, all eyes are on him. You love him so much and the look in your eyes when you look at your brother makes my heart skip a beat. Sometimes you two will be talking or singing and Daddy and I will try to figure out what you’re doing but we can’t. You two have your own little world and a bond that we hope is unbreakable.

At 2 1/2, you are an amazing child and we are so fortunate to have you and have you happy, healthy and strong. It’s weird to think that we worried about loving a second child enough. In some ways, you have even more love because a) you have your brother and b) we’re better parents. In the end, though, we can’t imagine our days without you, even if you STILL scream like a pterodactyl!

Getting ready for kindergarten

On May 10, there was a pre-orientation for kindergarten at St. Francis. We prepped Harmon about it for a whole week and he was so excited. However, upon arrival to the kindergarten classroom, he went all shy on me. I swear he cut off circulation on my left leg, he was holding onto it SO tight! He has two friends in the class so I didn't understand the panic but, then again, I'm not 5 so ...

Anyway, he finally loosened up and the kids stayed with their new teacher-to-be while the parents went to the library for a Powerpoint presentation about some bigger aspects of starting kindergarten. Lots of good information but most of the time was spent on the drop-off and pick-up flow charts, which made my (and later Kevin's) head asplode. Of course, the whole time I was sitting there, I could NOT stop thinking about Mr. Mom - "North to pick up, south to drop off, moron!"

The most in-depth orientation will take place Tuesday, Sept. 6, the day before schools starts. Between now and then, though, there will be plenty of opportunities for us - and Harmon - to get more comfortable with things.

One of those opportunities came this past Friday (May 20) when Kevin took Harmon in for a very general and very quick kindergarten screening. The kids were alone with the teacher so I had to rely on Harmon for intel - this can be shaky at best. According to him, he had to ID parts of the body, do his numbers and letters, talk about reading, and make sure he knows and can spell his first and last name. I'm sure there was more but those are the things HE highlighted. He did well but we do need to work on the last name. He can write it for sure, he just hasn't needed to. He's the only Harmon anywhere in town so he just puts "Harmon" instead of "Harmon Bergquist" on everything. Kevin said he did pretty well - fortunately not a repeat performance of the orientation episode. I'm sure, by Sept. 7, we'll all be comfortable!

The first of what we hope is MANY graduations!

Today Harmon graduated from pre-school at Annie's Children's Center! He's been at Annie's since February 2007, joining the kids there after our original daycare closed. Even though he was a little late in joining his classmates who had been there since their days as infants, he's had a good time and learned a lot from his fabulous teachers. We've been so happy with Annie's and while I didn't cry today, I know I will when he leaves for good after summer camp to start kindergarten. We will still have Simon at Annie's so he'll get to benefit from all those same wonderful things.

Kevin and I weren't sure what to expect today. We weren't sure how to dress him, weren't sure how the "ceremony" would go, weren't sure if we should plan a special day for him. We dropped him off at 9:30 p.m. so he could get "ready" with his classmates in their room. The parents then took their seats (the tiny pre-school seats, of course) in the Lightning Bug room - a great room with a stage and treehouse. We all chatted and waited and then, just after 10 a.m., the children had a procession into the room. They lined up in two rows on the stage and then the lead teacher - Miss Connie - gave us an intro and an overview of the "program." One by one the children came to the front to shake hands and receiver their "diplomas!" Miss Connie then asked each of them what they wanted to be when they grew up - Harmon's answer was "a firefighter!" There are about 20 or so kids in his class so they distributed diplomas to half the class and then sang some songs before finishing up. At first, all the children were awestruck with huge eyes looking out at a multitude of digital cameras and video cameras flashing and taping. But, as things progressed, they loosened up and did very well.

We were so proud of Harmon - he did a great job! He was very well behaved and did wonderfully when it was his time to come to the front (he can be rather shy so we were hoping he would be OK). After the program, there were treats with the highlight being Capri Suns - Harmon loves those.

Rather than taking him out to lunch or doing something special, he really wanted to stay at school. It was pizza day, which he loves, and he really just wanted to play with this friends. He was quick to tell us goodbye so he could get on with this day and I guess we should be happy about that. He only has so many days left with his friends at Annie's and we want him to enjoy them as much as possible. It's amazing to see all these children grow from babies to kindergartners-to-be before our eyes. It's been amazing for us with Harmon, amazing but much too fast. Congrats, little grad, we love you so much!

Twin towers?

I never bothered to unsubscribe to babybenter.com after Simon hit all the big milestones so I still receive all the emails. I usually just delete but one recent email caught my eye. It was a height predictor and I thought, hmm, let's just see what it says.

 

Well, I plugged in the info and was stunned with the results.

 

It predicted, at age 18, that Harmon would be 6'4" and Simon would be 6'6". If this is true, I need a bigger fridge! And maybe a bigger house!

Mother's Day 2011

When Kevin asked Simon where they should take me for Mother's Day dinner, he replied "ba-ba-ba-ba-ba!" Because advertising does indeed works, he knows the McDonald's jingle! I thought this would indicate a not-so-great Mother's Day but I was wrong - I had a great Mother's Day!

 

The boys bought me a new bike a few weeks ago so I knew that was my big Mother's Day present and we actually went to Pizza House for dinner on Friday night so, by the time Mother's Day actually rolled around, I wasn't expecting much. But, Kevin let me sleep in and then Harmon came to wake me with another beautiful picture he drew (he LOVES to draw)! Kevin got me some beautiful flowers and he intercepted the boys' Mother's Day projects from school so I could open them before breakfast. Simon made me a very cool bracelet and Harmon did handprints for me (I love handprints). 

 

Breakfast was chocolate chip pancakes and then we all took our time getting ready for the day. It was a gorgeous day so I wanted to spend it watching Michigan Baseball at Fisher Stadium. Even though we lost - we're quite terrible this season - we had a great time. Harmon rocked his nacho, we all got some sun, the boys got to run the bases (twice) and we got to see Schneids!

 

I usually read to Simon on Sunday nights but, on this night, me and the boys curled up in bed and I read to both of them. Now that Simon is a little older, I need to do this more. Simon then allowed me to rock him to sleep. This doesn't happen often these days but I like to think he wanted to give me ONE MORE Mother's Day present. Even though I was missing my dear Isabel, I realize how truly blessed I am to be the mother of such wonderful boys. I love them more than anything!

Isabel

Isabel
February 28, 2001-May 1, 2011

We often joked that Isabel had the longest chart in the history of Animal Kingdom Veterinary Hospital. From one of our first appointments in 2001 for bumps on her belly (um, teats, duh!) to her surgery for a bladder stone that would have brought down large dogs, we were told, Isabel had to be one of the most poked and prodded bunnies in their care.

But, it was one final piece of paper that we received from Animal Kingdom that contains an image that will forever be etched in my mind. Dated May 1, 2011, it simply says, “Cremation Private. $146.”

For that is the day our sweet, little Netherland Dwarf passed away on our bed, while Aimee stroked her grey fur with a final, loving touch. We will bring her back home sometime soon, and I have vowed that she will stay with us forever, no matter where we live.

Something else on that receipt burns in my mind.  It reads: “Patient ID: 6287-1” — like some kind of prisoner number. In some respects, Isabel has been freed from her prison, an often tough life that we didn’t think would reach three years, much less 10. We are comforted that we gave Isabel everything — from a cage that is bigger square-footage-wise for a 2-pound rabbit than for a family of four in our own house, to more chocolate and treats than most pets should have.

But, Isabel just wasn’t the same during the last year, fighting an infection, overgrown teeth that required monthly trimming and, finally, something that told her body it was time to give up. Part of us wants to know what ultimately took her life, but we just knew it was time. She had rallied so many times in her life with us, but we knew this was it. And it hurts tremendously.

But, understand this: Isabel was a fighter, even as she fought for those final breaths, finally giving up and going to be with her Mommy, and probably some of her brothers, at high noon. It was exactly one week to Mother’s Day, and it will be a tough week for me and Aimee as we celebrate the life of our first baby — our “daughter.”

I always made it a point to get Aimee a Mother’s Day card from Isabel. I don’t know what I can do this year that will make her feel that she was the best possible Mommy to Isabel. We agreed that the best thing Aimee could do for Isabel was just hold her in that final hour and let her know it was OK to go. She didn’t need to fight for us anymore.

I have struggled mightily with my feelings since Sunday. On one hand, I know there are people and families dealing with much, much greater tragedies than we are. They have lost parents, have sick children, are facing foreclosures, or wondering daily how they are going to put food on the table. I get that, and I am somewhat embarrassed that this is our little cross to bear right now.

But, Isabel was different. After we got married in 2000, she was our first true responsibility. Aimee said she always wanted a little, grey bunny. So, off we went in search of our first pet. People that know me well know that I never make quick decisions. I overthink, research and change my mind multiple times on even the simplest things. But, as we sat in the rabbitry in Colon, Michigan, on April 1, 2001, they finally pulled a little grey bunny from the cage and she snuggled on Aimee’s chest.

Without hesitation, I said, “We’ll take her.” The owner of the rabbitry asked for $15. I paid $20 and, had I known then what joy she would bring to our lives, no price would have been too steep. We had no cage, no food, nothing but a cardboard box to bring her home in. And, as she slid around in that box on the drive back to Ann Arbor, we fell in love with that little girl.

At times, we struggled with the fact that we took Isabel from her Mommy and brothers on that spring day, and that we had her spayed and she would never have babies. We even wondered what it would have been like for Isabel to have a friend in her rabbit “condo.” Was she lonely while we were at work? Would she have liked a friend to snuggle and play with? Was she happy? Her vet told us many times during her life, especially late, that pets will let you know if they are not happy, or if they are ready to go. I will always believe that Isabel was happy until her dying day.

Isabel’s life changed dramatically when we brought Harmon home from the hospital in 2005. We knew we had the love in our hearts for a pet and a new baby. And, even when Simon was born in 2008, Isabel was always part of our family. But, things were different now, and we can’t help but feel guilty about the last five years of her life. Did we give enough?

Last night, as we watched videos and looked at old photos of Isabel laying by the fireplace, jumping up on the couch to get a dried cherry, “hiding” under the Christmas tree, and dropping pellets all over the place, we laughed and cried and recalled the good times. I want to write about all of them, and will, because although the boys knew her, and often played with her, I am not sure they will ever realize just what Isabel meant to our lives.

But, right now, I want to be sad and grieve. That can be hard to do with boys, ages 2 and 5, at your feet, but I want Isabel to know that her passing hurts greatly and that we know she is looking down on us, rabbit-dancing in heaven. Her teeth don’t hurt anymore, the infection is gone, and she can lie around in the sun all day.

Looking for a quiet moment, I went home at lunchtime on Monday. I thought for sure that her cage would be right where it has been since the day we moved into our house, and that Isabel would be in a little ball in her familiar spot on the fourth floor. But, the cage is gone from the house, and the hole left in the spot (unfortunately, it also is marked by urine stains on the hardwood floor!), is bigger than anything except the hole that her passing has left in our hearts and in our lives.

Isabel is happy and healthy now, and we cling to that. Maybe we are selfish for wanting her to still be here. But, we got to say goodbye to her on our own terms. And the last thing she saw was the “parents” who loved her so much letting her know it was OK to go. I have lost people close to me, like all of us have, but until Sunday I had never seen a person or pet pass away before my eyes. It is chilling, but also very peaceful.

To you, Isabel, you had many nicknames during your time with us: Belly, Izzy, Morphage, Pelt, Grey Girl, Stinkmonster General (don’t ask). But no matter what we called you, you were our first love and your passing has left a void in our family that I always told people was a family of 5!

We miss you, Isabel. Rest in peace.

Getting a boost

Getting Simon in and out of his car seat has been a challenge lately so we took a look back through old blog entries and photos to see when we moved Harmon to his booster seat. Turns out it was right around 2 1/2 so, being that Simon is pretty much the same size Harmon was at that age, we went ahead and moved Simon too. His first ride in his new booster seat was Saturday, April 30. He seems to like it, mostly because it's just like the booster seat that Harmon has. I think his biggest beef is that he doesn't sleep as comfortably as he did in his car seat. That just means he'll have to take a nap when we ask him too instead of fighting it and then falling asleep in the car!

 

One minor problem, though. It didn't take him too long to figure out how to unbuckle himself. But, lucky for us (I think), Harmon is quite the tattle tail. We've made some adjustments but fully expect more backseat shenanigans with this pair.