Today when we dropped Harmon off at day care, he cried when we tried to leave. He’s been going to day care for well over a year now and this is the first time it’s happened. I’ve always dreaded this and it was just as bad as I imagined.At our new day care, all of the kids start in one room and then break into their respective age groups at 9 a.m. The teacher has told us, after only a few weeks there, that Harmon is none too happy with this arrangement. We’re not sure if it’s too much commotion with all the coming and going of parents, kids and teachers or if it’s just that he’s still adjusting to the new place. It also could be the simple fact that there just aren’t any balls available in this room!
Anyway, this morning, we put him down and we thought all was well as he made his way to Mr. Potato Head. But, as we started to leave, he started crying and reaching for me. I hugged him and calmed him down and we tried again to leave but, this time, he started crying and reaching for Kevin. At this point, one of the teachers stepped in, picked him up and tried to distract him but it didn’t work. Once again, he started crying and practically jumping out of her arms to get to us. Since I’ve always read that you just have to leave, that’s what we did … and it was awful. I barely got to the door before I was in tears. It was the first time in his short life that he’s cried and reached out to me and I wasn’t able to console him and make things all better. It felt terrible. Of course, Kevin was the strong one and he kept telling me it was going to be OK – I’m so glad he was there when this happened.
I thought about his sad little face (like above) all day long and all the feelings of guilt I have for being a working Mom came rushing back along with all the doubts I have about being a good enough Mom for him. I’m sure he was fine five minutes after we left while I spent all day worrying about him but I guess that’s part of being a Mom.
I was able to pick him up early today and seeing him so excited to see me made me feel so much better. I know days like today are going to happen – I just hope ANOTHER year goes by before we have one again!
