Benefits of returning to work

Here I sit on the eve of my return to work and I'm trying to psyche myself up about the benefits of doing so. Here is what I’ve come up with so far:

1. I will be able to shower daily.
2. I will be able to take a piss without an audience (especially an audience that includes an inquisitive three-year-old).
3. I can take more than five minutes to eat lunch.
4. And speaking of food – Cinnamon Melt Wednesdays!
5. I can bypass dual screaming fits.
6. I’ll no longer be solely responsible for overnight feedings (although, in Simon’s defense, he is sleeping 6-7 hours most nights now).
7. I’ll have uninterrupted computer access for more than five SECONDS.
8. I won’t have to wipe someone’s ass for at least eight hours.

Despite this brief list, the cons of returning to work FAR outweigh the pros but, alas, it is what it is!